Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) Page 8

  "Tired?" Jake asked.

  Tye nodded stiffly, frustrated by her lack of control over her own body. "When I've been on this leg too much, it gets a bit sore. I've only been working with this a short time ― my permanent limb. By that I mean my prosthesis. Negotiating this ramp sideways takes longer, but it's easier when the leg bothers me." It was the most explanation she’d offered to anyone since losing her leg.

  Once up on the porch, Tye turned and looked back at him. "Thanks, I had a good time. It almost felt like . . ." She paused, biting her lips. She had been about to say like old times, but that description might ruin the easy camaraderie they’d found.

  "Home?" Jake suggested.

  Tye nodded. She was no longer the naive innocent of a decade ago. Jake wasn’t the same man, either. There was a hardness to him she couldn’t get past. It scared her, that shield he put up against her. Perhaps it was for the best; it kept them both on safe ground.

  Jake's barbecue hadn't been anything like the parties she was used to. Today there had been a homey, festive air, despite some good-natured bickering.

  Tye turned back to Jake. "G'night. Thanks, Jake."

  Jake walked toward her. "I always see a lady to her door."

  "Really, Jake, I can manage."

  "I know. Call me old-fashioned."

  Tye looked up at his face, but the clouds passing over the moon kept him in shadow. She bit her lip again, then blurted, "Listen, Jake, about the rude things I said the other day ―"

  "Which time?"

  Tye gritted her teeth but then went on. "When I kind of implied you were boring by teasing you about your box manufacturing business ―"

  "Are you going to take it back?"

  "Will you let me finish?" she said between clenched teeth. He was treating this as a joke, and she felt only embarrassment over her behavior.

  "Sure." The moon shone through the clouds, and Tye caught his smile as he looked down at her. She was used to being at eye level with most men, but not Jake. She had always looked up to him. He managed to make her feel protected.

  Tye turned away abruptly and walked to her door. "Anyway, I'm sorry for what I implied." Tye stopped by her front door.

  Jake leaned one hand on the dark siding of the house near her head. "What made you change your mind?"

  Now why did he have to ask that? Tye thought, not having seen the trap. She was no good at this man-woman thing. Give her a fifteen-hundred-pound bull or a wiry mustang and she knew what to do. A man she loved, had never stopped loving ― that was another story.

  "I didn’t say I’d changed my mind, well I guess I have. I'm sorry," she snapped, not used to being twisted up in knots. Jake never used to act this way. Sexual tension rippled through Tye. She clenched her fists.

  "Apology accepted." He said with a smile that wasn’t all mockery. Tye just wasn’t sure what else was there. Perhaps a hint of tenderness? No, she was probably wrong.

  She drew a deep, fortifying breath. Damn, he was handsome.

  Jake ran a fingertip lightly across her cheekbone, leaving a trail of fire. Tye almost jerked her head back in surprise, then closed her eyes a moment.

  "Since we're doing apologies, I'm sorry for riding you so hard by the pool last night. You’re right, you’re not seventeen anymore. I was out of line."

  Tye shrugged awkwardly. "Maybe it was something I needed to hear. I'm not saying it was," she qualified as she saw his slow grin. "I'm saying maybe. I'm still mulling it over."

  "Then I'd say we're even and should call it a night before we disagree and get into a fistfight or something."

  Tye watched his face come closer, part of her afraid, the other part making her inch just the tiniest bit forward. This couldn’t be happening again.

  Gently, almost tenderly, Jake's lips touched hers, then slid away. The contact felt like a jolt from an electric fence. Before she could recover, his arms lightly enclosed her, his chest against her suddenly aching breasts. Tye felt lost in the sensation, aware only of the feel of Jake’s mouth on hers. So light, then deeper, his tongue swirling against her teeth, touching the inner softness of her mouth. The short bristle covering his jaw rasped across her skin, the slight sound pleasing, the contact sensuous. Jake began to pull away, his lips leaving hers slowly.

  Boldly, Tye pulled his head back down, her fingers clasped in his dark, silky hair. The only thing that mattered was having him close. All the years of loneliness, the pain of walking away, it all dissolved. Tye wanted more from Jake. Her body trembled, but she was barely aware of it.

  "Jake."

  "Shh." His finger touched her lips where his mouth had caressed. Tye touched his finger with her tongue, and he stepped back. She tried to breathe normally, but felt as if she had run a marathon. He took another step back, his face devoid of emotion. Tye dropped her arms slowly. Awkwardly, she rubbed her palms down her jeans.

  "I guess this is where we say good night," she murmured lightly, throwing him a smile as she turned and pushed the door open.

  "Tye."

  She ignored him this time. Slowly, she closed the door on him and collapsed into the nearest chair.

  How had that happened? One minute they were almost friends, the next, close to taking a step toward an intimacy they had no right thinking about.

  Tye groaned, trying to think straight, but it felt impossible when she thought that Jake might be just outside her door.

  She jumped up and paced the living room, an excess of energy gripping her. She felt keyed up. Tye touched her fingers to her lips, closing her eyes as a shivery sensation fanned across her midsection. Why had Jake kissed her? More disturbingly, why had she let him? Did either one of them want to retrace old history?

  Tye shook her head quickly. It was crazy to worry about a little kiss. People kissed all the time: it meant nothing. It would never mean anything because they had nothing in common any longer. Maybe they had never had anything in common.

  She walked into her bedroom, leaving the small light in the kitchen on. Her leg ached as if it were still there below her knee. The pain ― phantom pain, they called it ― wasn't as bad as in the first weeks in the hospital. Then it had been unrelenting, making her think she would go out of her mind.

  Tye undressed, unstrapped the leg and placed it on the bedside chair. Removing the special socks, she gently massaged the stump to ease the soreness. She had probably overdone it today, but it had felt so good to be back with the living. She had felt almost normal. There had even been moments when she had forgotten about her leg, and that hadn't happened since waking up in the recovery room. She felt kind of tingly, almost like a limb regaining circulation after being in a cramped position. Part of her that had felt dead since the accident felt vibrantly alive. All because of a kiss. One little kiss. Not so little! whispered a small voice. It had rocked her to her boots. She wondered how Jake had felt about it. Surely he had felt something.

  Reaching into the old-fashioned washbowl beside the bed, Tye picked up the hand soap and washcloth. Carefully, she wiped out the socket of the prosthesis and dried it then proceeded to do the same for her stump.

  The cheval glass at the base of the bed showed her reflection, but Tye ignored it as she brushed her hair, then did fifty chin-ups using the metal trapeze bar at the head of her bed. She thought about the swimming pool going to waste most nights, and decided she would strike a deal with Jake about using it in privacy.

  She had done her best to keep in shape in the last months, but sometimes, when doubt crept in, she wondered if she wasn't fooling herself. No one had come out and said she couldn't rodeo again, not even Mama, though Tye was sure she wanted to. Mama raised bulls for the rodeo circuit, but she had always been fearful of Tye riding them. A slight smile twisted her lips. Mama had been furious when she discovered one of the ranch hands had been letting Tye ride the bulls her entire thirteenth summer. She had been grounded from riding her horse for a month. That had been the worst punishment of her young life.

  Tye had apolo
gized to Mama for the terrible things she had said in the recovery room, but she still agonized over it. She knew it was her fault there was a strain between them. That's why she hadn’t returned home. She needed to be on her own so she could recover her equilibrium. She needed to remain independent, and yet she had landed here, an imposition to Jake, an impediment to his plans. The knowledge bit at her. Dammit, she’d always prided herself on her independence. She couldn’t depend on Jake’s generosity forever.

  Pulling on a light robe, Tye picked up her crutches and moved over to the glass doors that led to a small deck outside her bedroom. After opening them, she tipped her head back, enjoying the cool breeze on her face.

  She could hear the horses out in the paddock, whinnying softly to each other. Somewhere crickets were singing their night songs. Tye saw a shadow in the yard beyond her small deck, and she stared curiously out into the darkness. Then she opened the screen door and stepped out onto the deck.

  #

  When Jake saw Tye, his body was still humming from the kiss they had shared, his head reeling with thoughts he couldn’t quiet. Why had he given in to the impulse to kiss her, taste her lips again? Dammit, what was this woman’s hold over him?

  "Still awake?" he asked her, stepping into the band of light spilling from her room.

  Tye turned sideways and leaned against the deck, the upright post shielding her leg from his view. Crutches rested under her arms, and her thin robe was almost transparent with the light behind her. Jake drew a deep breath and called himself a fool. He saw the outline of where her leg ended just below the knee, and he felt a deep, wrenching pain.

  "I guess I’m keyed up."

  Her voice sounded strangely breathless on the night air. Jake wondered if she wanted to repeat that kiss he couldn’t get out of his mind. He stepped closer, pausing on the top stair of her deck. Watching Tye, he leaned back against the railing and crossed his feet.

  "Being out here must be quite a change from what you’re used to."

  "Actually, Jake, I like it here. I needed a break from the commotion." She gave a little laugh. "This is the perfect place to hide until I get better."

  Jake stiffened and straightened up. "And then you go back," he said flatly. "After you’re finished hiding."

  "Of course. What else would I do?" A soft breeze played with Tye’s blond hair. Jake itched to run his fingers through the softness, as light and fine as a baby’s. He struggled with the temptation. Tye was no baby. He should turn around and haul his butt away from her. The night air, combined with her sweet scent, was too enticing for a man whose thoughts were stuck on decade-old memories. How much heartache could he tolerate? How many times did he have to have his pride stomped into the dust by size seven boots?

  "Rodeo is all I know. You know me, Jake ― I have a knack for landing myself in trouble. For once I’m trying to think ahead, look to the future. Sometimes it’s pretty scary, looking ahead," she added, her voice almost a whisper.

  Jake sensed her vulnerability. Maybe Tye had changed. He’d never heard her asking for help as she seemed to be doing now.

  "We all have to grow up," he drawled, refusing to be drawn in by her magic.

  Tye tossed back her hair. "I’ve always lived for the moment," she said, a challenge in her voice. "Up until now it’s worked out fine."

  Jake watched her fingers play with the folds of her robe. He heaved a deep breath. "Listen, Tye, you don’t have to hide from me. We’ve known each other too long."

  "There are some things you never get over. I feel as if I’ll never get over this self-consciousness about my leg. There’s always someone staring at it to remind me. It’s horrible. Ugly."

  Jake reached out and encircled her slim wrist with his fingers. The bones felt so fragile, yet he had seen her competently handle animals many times her own weight. "It will heal in time, inside and out."

  Tye rolled her eyes at him. "Maybe in ten years. Right now it represents everything I don’t have any longer. Who would want to look at this leg?"

  "You’re a desirable, smart woman. Any man with an ounce of sense will see that."

  "I don’t want any man, dammit!" The words seemed to burst from Tye. She threw him a wide-eyed glance, confusion written on her face as she stared at his fingers encircling her wrist. Jake stared at her bent head. He wanted to pull her close, take her inside and show her how desirable she was.

  Instead, he made himself say lightly, "Come on, Tye, cut yourself some slack."

  "You’re right, I should." She lifted her head and suddenly leaned toward him with a reckless grin. "I find myself wanting to try that kiss again, Jake. What do you think?"

  Jake felt his throat go dry. He wanted to kiss her, but it was probably the dumbest thing he could do ― rekindle fires best left dead. Tye’s gaze remained unwavering. Desire tightened Jake’s body. He moved closer, so close he could feel the heat of her own body, almost taste her scent.

  Tye’s sigh feathered across his mouth. He knew he was playing with fire when her head tipped back and she opened up to him.

  How had he let this woman go? Tye looped her arms around his neck, the crutches clattering to the deck. It was a distant sound, and Jake didn’t care. He felt enveloped by a haze, aware of the points of her breasts through her thin covering. He ran his hands over Tye’s hips, cupped her buttocks. He felt the tensing of muscle, then she leaned fully into him as they devoured each other, heat surely an aura of red-hot light encircling them.

  Thoughts of the past exploded, leaving only dust. Jake explored the taste and texture of Tye’s mouth, the slim, supple length of her body. When he surfaced for air, he swept his tongue along her lips. Her responding shudder echoed his own.

  She gripped his arms and pulled her upper body back, meeting his gaze, out of breath, hanging on to his arms and balancing on one leg.

  "I guess that’s about all the slack I can stand for now," she muttered.

  Jake started laughing. Tye lifted her brows and he shook his head. "Only you, Tye, would say something like that."

  She smiled slightly. "You used to love my unpredictability."

  Jake put up a hand and gently threaded his fingers through her hair. "You’re right. But back then we were kids. What did we know?"

  "What are we doing, Jake?"

  The words seemed to spill from her lips. He felt her tense against him, as if prepared for a blow.

  Jake stared at her wordlessly. What were they doing? What were they thinking? "Maybe we’re just finishing up old business, Tye, so we can both get on with our lives."

  He knew it was the right answer for both of them, but he felt weighed down by a heavy ache. How could he want things to be different?

  "I guess you’re right." Her voice was tinged with sadness. "We’re not the same people." Tye stepped away from him so they no longer touched. She pulled the fluttering material of the robe against the residual limb; then indicated her leg with a sweep of her hand. "Too much has changed to go back."

  Jake stifled the protest inside him. Part of him wanted to go back, wanted to try and fix what had gone wrong. But the rational part of his brain told him it was impossible. "One day you’ll realize your leg won’t matter to anyone who cares about you."

  Tye gave him a bright smile. "I know you’re right. Good night, Jake."

  #

  Tye wanted to damn the consequences and invite Jake into her bed. She entered the apartment alone, feeling drained. In Jake’s company, she felt almost light, freely giving of herself, until the reality of her situation smacked her in the face.

  She sat on her bed. She deliberately stared into the mirror at the stump, which she hated to look at.

  Tye recalled its swollen and discolored appearance right after surgery. She had never considered herself squeamish, but that first time she had seen her amputated leg had made her sick. Blood had roared in her ears, and a cold wave came over her. It had been frightening.

  Such a loss of control terrified her. How many times had Daddy
imprinted in her mind you had to stay in control of a situation? If you lost control you had to know when to bail out, whether it was a bull you were riding, or life.

  Day by day Tye felt she gained a better grip on her life. Setbacks occurred, but she had to move steadily forward. She felt confused as to why she was hankering after the past, with Jake. It was over and done with.

  Returning her attention to her stump, Tye noticed that the line of stitches had faded. It didn't look nearly so grotesque. Everything had smoothed out rather well.

  She lay down on her back. Ever since the amputation she felt off balance when she rolled over in bed at night. She had to be careful when she slept that she kept the stump straight, so it didn’t seize up on her. She had learned how to sleep on her stomach.

  Continuing her nightly ritual, Tye reached for the elastic bandage and wrapped the stump, wondering if she could ever ride again. Maybe she'd never regain her center of balance. She took a deep breath and told herself it was a miracle she hadn't lost both legs.

  She had cracked her ribs, knocked some teeth loose and suffered a mild concussion. She was lucky to be alive.

  For the umpteenth time Tye pondered the question Amy had raised. Why had Jake been at the rodeo that night? Could he have come looking for her? No. They hadn’t had contact in years. Why would he seek her out after all this time? Deep inside, Tye knew she wanted that to have been the reason, but it was a foolish wish at best.

  Jake had made a success of his life, but he had not married. Tye wondered why.

  She knew why she wouldn’t marry. She was like her father. Daddy had tried ranching, tried settling in one place, but he had left again, declaring rodeo was in his blood.

  Mama had bred the best of the bulls used in rodeo. Times had been hard, but Mama was strong. Tye recalled many an evening when Mama sat on the front porch swing, humming a song only the night would hear, or a child up later than she ought to be. Daddy hadn’t been around to keep a woman’s heart from aching. Rodeo was rough on family life when you pursued it six days a week.

  Tye had been consumed by rodeo until she met Jake. Mama had convinced her to get a degree, see what else the world offered before she decided to pursue rodeo full-time. It had been during one of her spring breaks that she had met Jake. She’d had all summer to fall in love with him.